Two Thirteens in one

By Coffee Shop Bill

13 reasons to have sex when you don’t feel like it…

1.. clears your sinuses

2. R.B.P.S. – Residual Blue Pill Syndrome

3. you had to do the laundry today anyway

4. you don’t want to meet your maker thinking… jeez I wish I’d done it that Wednesday night back in ’07

5. the hookers are on retainer

6. that cigarette after

7. you want your mother to call

8. you’re bored and “MASH” comes on in 5 minutes

9. WWHSD…. What Would Homer Simpson Do???

10. you’ve been wanting specifically to do this for a long time with this person, and although you really feel lousy tonight, if you don’t you might miss the opportunity, and as I say, this has been a personal goal of yours for… what… six months now, so you really have to strike while the iron is hot in hopes that at some point she might tell you…… the name of the girl you saw her with at KFC that night…

11. there’s mayonnaise left in the jar

12. what are the odds Lindsay Lohan is going to pass out in your van again? (okay, well… maybe not that high, but…)

13. Dude…. it’s like SEX!!!


13 reasons not to have sex

1. uhhh….
2. er..
3. um….
4. I’m thinking…
5. . . . . .
6. hmmm…
7. wow….
8. this is hard!
9. wait..
10. Does anyone else smell smoke?
11. wait…
12. yes… yes… I got it!
13. ….You’re dead!! **

**Footnote- I realize this death thing doesn’t bother some folks. If you are one of these people, please refrain from trying to contact me.

-Coffee Shop Bill


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