13 Reindeer That Didn’t Make The Cut

1. Farty… ‘Nuff said.

2. Rummy… 0h yeah, another reindeer with a red nose, but… kept stumbling off the roofs.

3. Bullseye… An unfortunate birthmark that just tempts fate when you fly over drunked up, nimrod rednecks in the dead of night.

4. Snowblind… Even corrective lenses didn’t help.

5. Snorty… Had a substance abuse problem. Only tried out because of promises of “all the snow you’ll ever want.”

6. Bob… “On Dasher, On Dancer, On Prancer and… Bob??? WTF?? Didn’t fly… neither did Bob.

7. Vito… Implicated in a scam that involved the sale of fake reindeer poop in the internet.

8. Pinky… Beautiful albino animal that had an impressive presence when hitched to lead the sleigh. Passed over because of a constant shivering problem.

9. Horny… Caught when his fake antlers fell off while humping Vixen. (Santa’s reindeer are all female you know…)

10. Trotsky… Sadly, blessed with a dicky digestive tract.

11. Sneezy… One of the seven dwarfs trying to pass. Rumored to have been lured by the extensive health insurace plan.

12. Bruce… Liked the whip… too much…

13. Buffy… Stunning blonde fur, but turned on her hooves and left saying, “Like… Ummm… Christmas is sooo yesterday… you know…”. Besides, Mrs. Claus was pissed at Santa’s spending way too much time in her stall giving her “flying” lessons.

Courtesy of Coffee Shop Bill

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